Attachment and Bonding

Though these terms are similar and may seem interchangeable, there is a slight difference. The relationships people form and the emotions they feel toward one another typically describe a “bond” they have. A bond can also describe the closeness they feel and can begin early in a relationship while sharing very personal things about ourselves. 


An attachment on the other hand, is an enduring connection that encompasses things such as core beliefs about ourselves and our world, how we respond to others, patterns of communication, how we handle conflict or other life-stressors.  Attachments begins in infancy (many believe in utero) and develop with parents and/or primary caregivers that are then unconsciously applied to other relationships that form across the lifespan.

Signs of Insecure Attachments

Attachments are described as either secure or insecure.  Secure attachments are formed when parents or caregivers are able to read baby’s cues and respond appropriately to their needs. While not perfect, a secure attachment is seen as one that helps a person develop relatively healthy relationships which are able to withstand some difficulty without estrangement.

Insecure attachments are formed when baby’s needs are not met timely, consistently, and/or routinely/predictably and are characterized as avoidant, anxious, or chaotic. Some reasons insecure attachments may form are:


  • The attachment style of parents or caregivers
  • Post-partum depression or other mental health issues of parents
  • In-utero experience
  • Chaotic environment due to circumstances of parents/caregivers
  • Separation from birth parents

The attachments developed in infancy form the foundations of other relationships during our lifetimes and often become problematic because of unresolved issues in childhood.


If you’ve been struggling with persistently damaged or broken relationships even if previous attempts at counseling have not solved things, it could be due to insecure attachment. Schedule an appointment with us today to start working toward resolution.

Share by: